New World, Old Soul

There is a series on Netflix I watched recently called Quarterback.

It follows the everyday lives, on and off the field, of 3 NFL quarterbacks. I found it to be both fascinating and entertaining.

What I didn’t expect was to find so many similarities between the quarterback position of a football team and the role of “mom” in a family.

I’m sure the same could be said for many dads out there, but I’ll let one of them write about that!

Here are the things I decided Moms and NFL quarterbacks have in common:

1. They know the plays for everyone on their team.

After watching this series, it blew my mind the amount of knowledge and information quarterbacks need to keep track of. Not only do they need to know their role, but the role of everyone on their offense, along with scouting what the defense is doing each play.

Remind you of anyone? As moms, we are not just responsible for our schedules. We need to know what we are doing today AND what everyone else in the family is up to.

Going on a trip? We don’t just pack for us; we pack for everyone. Date night? Don’t forget to coordinate childcare and prepare the list of directions first. Moms rarely have the opportunity to “only worry about themselves.”

2. A supportive partner makes a huge difference in their success on and off the field.

This one seems like a no-brainer. After watching the series, it becomes clear that these quarterbacks who “do it all” can better carry that burden by relying on those around them. Their wives help them practice play calling, memorization, and whatever they need to prepare for the big game.

In the same way, moms who “do it all” can better see the fruits of their efforts if they have a supportive partner—someone who is both a spouse and a teammate willing to help wherever needed. Someone who understands collaboration (and sacrifice) is necessary for a successful team outcome.

3. Receiving constant criticism is a typical day at the office, even after their best performance.

It pulled at my heartstrings a few times, seeing the sacrifices those men were making, many times to be met by harsh criticism, incorrect speculation, and ruthless commentary.

I wish this one wasn’t true, but unfortunately, this is the reality many moms live in. We get much more attention when things go poorly than when everything runs smoothly. We are asked to be everything simultaneously (even conflicting things), and it’s challenging to feel like you don’t measure up.

Even well-meaning comments can reinforce this pervasive feeling (“Well, what you should do is…”).

The world can be harsh, but I think Kirk Cousins offers a lot of wisdom when he reveals in Episode 4 that he doesn’t read the things being said about him. He filters out the noise and insulates himself from the negativity so he can focus on what’s important.

In a world of constant communication and information overload, moms can have difficulty trusting their instincts. Cancel out the unnecessary noise. Trust your gut, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. You love your kids. Keep doing your best.

4. It’s important to have fun with the team but to remember to keep a certain level of seriousness.

We see a silly side of Kirk Cousins several times during the show, but he makes sure to mention that it’s not always fun and games. He wants to have fun and establish trust, but there must also be a seriousness to keep things moving forward.

It can be challenging for a mom to have fun, be silly, and let the worries fall by the wayside. Because at the end of the day, we feel responsible for the outcomes of our family.

I read a quote by Elisabeth Elliot recently: “Fear arises when we imagine everything depends on us,” and it really resonated with me.

As the “quarterbacks” of our family, it’s hard not to feel like everything depends on us. But there is a level of freedom in welcoming uncertainty, letting go of well-laid plans, and accepting we can’t control everything.

5. “If I’m nice to these guys, maybe subconsciously, they won’t try to finish the hit.”

Patrick Mahomes makes this comment in Episode 1, which completely resonated with me. He’s referring to how he’s extra nice to the guys trying to tackle him in hopes that their hits won’t be quite as damaging to him.

Being a mom can feel like playing constant damage control. And I think, as women, we can feel programmed to do it all with a smile. To be extra kind to those around us, hoping they will repay the favor. Like a quarterback, we are oftentimes at the mercy of others.

6. Competition is the name of the game.

*Collective groan*. The competition aspect makes perfect sense when you think of the goal of an NFL player: to win the Super Bowl.

But competition is far less fun when you’re a mom. Thanks primarily to social media, there’s more pressure than ever to be an Instagram mom. We want to prove to our peers that we are doing a good job. The highlight reel often leaves out the other 99% of our lives that would not meet society’s impossible expectations.

The last time I checked, they’re not giving out Lombardi trophies for Best Mom. For me, it’s really easy to get sucked into this competitive sphere and lose perspective. So, something I have to practice often is checking my motivation.

Am I posting something because I genuinely want to share it or because I am trying to prove something? Am I doing this because it’s what’s best for my kids or because it makes me feel worthy as a parent/woman? Is my “public persona” people pleasing or God pleasing?

7. Paternity Tests?

I’m not going to elaborate anymore on this one except to tell you to watch Episode 8 at the 4-minute 31-second mark for a good laugh.

8. Aches and pains.

This one also feels like it doesn’t need much of an explanation. Tylenol and ice baths for the win! (Says the writer, who has never taken an ice bath in her life.)

9. We’re always ready to call an audible.

If you’re familiar with football, an “audible” refers to the moment a quarterback lines up for a play and decides that because of the position of the defense, it’s not going to work. Or perhaps he sees a much better play-call option. So, he calls an audible and changes the play at the very last moment.

Moms learn early on that calling an audible is necessary for survival pretty much every day.

That cute outfit you picked for family photos? Now, it is covered in chocolate milk ten minutes before you need to get in the car. Call an audible and choose a backup outfit fast! I wanted to run some errands today, but daycare fell through. Call an audible and change that grocery trip into a curbside pickup or delivery. (But if I’m being honest, it was already a pickup or delivery in the first place).

Moms are used to making quick decisions when life throws a wrench in our plans.

Even with all of these similarities, I’m grateful for the differences. Being a mom is more rewarding than playing a team sport. There is no “retirement” in motherhood. There is no monetary value that can be placed on the role moms serve in society.

We may be the quarterbacks of our households, but thankfully our “Coach” up above already has everything covered. He already won the championship, and the score wasn’t close. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be a part of the team.